Miraculous Beginnings

It was a month filled with the highest joys and deepest grief.

After 15 months of daily praying for another child (and miscarrying our babies the summer before), my husband and I found out that God gave us another baby!  Pure excitement, happiness, and laughter filled our house.

But a few weeks later, I had some alarming symptoms and went to the doctor.

There are two words you never want to hear when having an ultrasound: “No heartbeat.”  I think what my doctor actually said was, “I’m sorry, there is no cardiac pulsation to be found.”  The words seemed to shake the office walls, and they certainly shattered my heart.

“The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him." Nahum 1:7 (NKJV).

We discussed the options and decided to go through the miscarriage naturally.  I set up several appointments with a nurse to monitor my progress, and I left, crying my way through the halls of the office, down the elevator, and out to the parking lot.

We mourned, and we prayed.  My husband prayed for God to breathe life back into our baby.  I agreed from the depths of my aching heart, but it took me a few days to be able to put words to my prayers.

I continued to have miscarriage symptoms for 10 days. In the midst of those symptoms, and more tests and appointments, I was also learning a lot.

I was learning to serve others in the midst of grief. I was learning to believe (cling to, trust in, rely on) the truth that God is with me, even when I didn’t feel His presence. I was learning that Jesus lightens grief through hope, peace, and truth. Satan makes it heavier with fear, accusation, and despair. I was learning to give thanks in all circumstances.

A week later, I went back to my doctor for another “monitor the miscarriage” appointment. Those are hard. My doctor explained what to expect on the ultrasound and why she wouldn’t allow me to watch at first. She was glad to hear that my miscarriage symptoms had stopped that morning, but she also mentioned that there may not be any “fetal tissue” left at all. She started the ultrasound. After a few seconds, a “wow” slipped off her lips and she turned the screen toward me.

God raises the dead! To the astonishment of the whole office, the image of a baby fluttered onto the ultrasound screen. Not just the body of my baby, but the image showed my baby with a beating heart—God raised our baby back to life!

I’m not sure what I did in that moment. I know the doctor watched that heartbeat from every angle for more than five minutes with me. I thought she was pretty generous with her time. I also thought she was trying to figure out what happened. Her conclusion? “That’s a miracle.” I just remember saying, “Praise the Lord” and “Thank You, Jesus” over and over again, as the tears flowed down my cheeks.

So we rejoice. With joy unspeakable. We give God all the glory. He is good, and the circumstances never changed His goodness.

And I say a thousand times, Praise the Lord! If you don’t yet know Jesus, please know this: He is the risen Lord. He breathed life into my baby, and He will breathe life into your heart too. He loves you, and He invites you to turn away from your sin and follow Him. I can tell you this: you and I both need Him. We all need Him.

“Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the peoples! Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; talk of all His wondrous works! Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD." Psalm 105:1–3 (NKJV).

Strengthened Soul

"On the day I called, You answered me..."  Psalm 138:3a

If you're in the midst of a difficult season, illness, or marriage, you may read these words and breathe yet another prayer.  For help.  For healing.  For reconciliation.  For justice.  For God to just take the circumstance away.

In this particular Psalm, God answers in another way.

"On the day I called, You answered me; my strength of soul you increased."  Some translations read, "You made me bold in my soul with strength."

The flesh balks at this answer to prayer.  But faith embraces it.  The Psalmist, David, continues in verses 7-8:

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
You preserve my life;
You stretch out Your hand
against the wrath of my enemies,
and Your right hand delivers me.
The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me;
Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of Your hands."

Suffering and trials can be part of His purposes to make us into the image of Christ, and His purpose will be fulfilled.  He always holds and controls the line on the amount of suffering we face.  As you face circumstances that you once thought you would never survive, recognize that He is strengthening your soul.  I have prayed this for you, dear reader, and for me.

May Jesus be glorified as the world sees the strength He gives your soul.

A Lesson at the Grocery Store

A young mom stood in line ahead of me at the grocery store.  Her two children were ready to go home for lunch, and she said she was ready to go, too.  She reached into her purse - first casually with one hand, then frantically with two hands.  She had left her wallet at home.

She looked up at the cashier and sighed, "I'm so sorry..."
She apologized at least ten times while putting the items back into the cart.  She then left her cart by the door, so she could go home for her wallet.

You might be wondering, why didn't anyone just offer to pay for her groceries?  The funny thing is - we all did.  One after another, the customers in line offered to pay for the young mom's modest assortment of groceries.  The cashier offered to pay the bill.  Even the store manager offered to let this mother (a regular customer, apparently) pay him for the groceries at her next trip to the store.

She refused us all.

I totally understood her decision.  I wouldn't want to take money from others unnecessarily.   If I took groceries on credit from a manager, I wouldn't be able to think or do much of anything until I got to go back to the store to pay.  Still, I was sorry that she wouldn't take any of the help that was offered to her.  She was determined to handle the situation on her own.

Her actions made me think about our actions toward the Lord.  He offers us infinitely more than we receive from Him each day.

Psalm 103:2-5 lists a few of His benefits, "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

It's not an exhaustive list, but just in these verses, God has offered so very much to us.

Forgiveness.
Healing.
Redemption.
A Crown of steadfast love and mercy.
Satisfaction.

We can walk away like the mom in the grocery store.  Better yet, we can humbly receive all the Lord gloriously offers.

God's Calling

A missionary woman named Gladys Alyward once said, "If God has called you to China or any other place and you are sure in your own heart, let nothing deter you...remember it is God who has called you and it is the same as when He called Moses or Samuel.

There is so much good in those words, but one phrase hit me like a ton of bricks:

"...it is the same as when He called Moses or Samuel."

I've heard and read many statements about being certain of God's calling and obeying it.  Of course, if God Himself calls you, you must go.  However, I never thought about it being the same as when He called Moses or Samuel.

Certainly, He has called me to go on certain mission trips, marry my husband, be involved in the church, stay home to raise my kids, and even write this blog.  His calling to me was almost as obvious as a burning bush saw or an audible voice.  Still, I have never thought about the great purpose God must have behind His call on my little life.

When I consider Moses and Samuel, I see how God's call on their lives was the first pebble in an avalanche of major historical events.  God had such plans and purpose behind His call.  How foolish of me to think that He would have no purpose behind His specific call on lives today!

The God of the universe has a plan.  Whether we see that plan or not, our privilege and responsibility is to respond in obedience to His call.